I've been thinking a lot lately about life and work and family and friends and soul. Not James Brown soul, more like keeping everything together with soul. Like, not losing your being, your self, your "...to thine own self be true." soul. You feel me?
Lets back up a few weeks...It was a day off--off of the work that pays the bills, I did have my personal emails to catch-up on and I listened to a webinar and discovered a super cool writing coach teacher liberator--Alexandra Franzen and saw what she did and thought:
Lets back up a few weeks...It was a day off--off of the work that pays the bills, I did have my personal emails to catch-up on and I listened to a webinar and discovered a super cool writing coach teacher liberator--Alexandra Franzen and saw what she did and thought:
Why don't I have a system?
I mean, why don't I have a plan, or a time frame or...anything?
Especially since I want to be a creative entrepreneur -- uh, du-uh -- you kinda have to plan these things and actually work toward them. And not just sporadically, as the spirit/muse/whatever calls, there's no, tra-la-la whatever will be will be, bullshit. Uh-huh.
So. I was going to make a plan--a P.L.A.N. plan. We're talkin' serious plan.
Then Nathan wanted to go to Kennedy (his high school) and get his football helmet and when we got back Rick was home and I remembered I wanted to return something to Bed, Bath & Beyond and then I needed to register Nathan for football (you can start non-coach practice w/o signing up) online and then weed the garden and dinner. And then take Nathan to to a friend's baseball game.
And then something must have broken inside of me (possibly my soul?).
Because, super simple directions to the field and I went in the opposite direction. And then turned around and found the right street and turned the wrong way--or thought I did--so I turned around and, of course, now I really was going the wrong way...so, I turned around (again *sigh*) but then was in the WRONG freakin' turn lane and had to f#*%ing turn around again.
By this time I had a headache, felt disconnected and light headed. My son was pretty awesome, he kept telling me it would be okay and gave me some water. We finally were headed in the right direction and--
I missed the turn.
So...I turned into an apartment complex to get back on the right track but you couldn't turn the way I needed to. So. I had to go past where the turn was and TURN AROUND. I am not even kidding.
By the time we got to the ball field I was exhausted. And even though there was a possibility a friend was there -- I had to go home. HAD TO.
On the way home my husband called, BECAUSE IT HAD TAKEN SO LONG, he thought I had stayed. I told him what happened, and that I just wanted to get home. He was sitting outside waiting for me when I turned in the driveway--I guess I scared him! I ended-up lying down, nearly crying, and finally sleeping for about a half an hour. I woke up and made rhubarb crisp (I DON'T KNOW WHY).
What's all this rambling leading to, you ask? I will tell you: I am figuring out a system. And not just a system, a strategy--THINGS, as they say, are in the works. I want a Strategy, but one with Soul. I want a plan, but one with heart. I want to feel good. I want to do good.
I know I do better when I've spent time on things that raise me up: like creativity, spending time with awesome women, writing, spending time with family (not just driving them places), planning cool new endeavors with my mama...
More on that one soon! (ooooh, double secret)
Have you endured any craziness lately? What happened? What realization did you come to? I seriously want to know.
all I can think of was that time in high school when you were driving and telling a story and I kept saying "right, Amy" and you kept saying, "Yes, you get it, right!" but I really meant to take a right, and of course, you took a left and we laughed ourselves sick over it, I guess not much has changed!
ReplyDeleteOh, my God Ann! I remember getting so excited that you agreed with me. Maybe I shouldn't be behind the wheel! But, man, we had fun!
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