AND NOW...INTRODUCING MY MOM! THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE UNIVERSE...I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING (#BOAW2015)

The Beauty of a Woman…

I was having such a hard time with this.

My mom, Joan Kennedy, the most beautiful woman I know--inside, outside, all sides. Protector, confidant, mentor, teacher, cheerleader, friend. When she would come for school visits at St. John the Baptist, I could barely contain myself. My mother was coming to SCHOOL! Everyone would bask in her awesomeness.

I felt the same way in high school--I know! I never "hated" my mom, or thought she was "lame"--okay, maybe she really didn't "understand" how much I loved that boy, but she sure knew how to help me get on with my life:

"Put on your sunglasses and clean out your drawers--make room for good things in your life."

I am still excited to introduce her to new friends or colleagues. "This," I say with reverence, "is my mom, Joan Kennedy."

I know I am only scratching at the surface of this, I feel words can't describe it all, but a picture, well that's worth thousands of those.

the beauty of a woman

sharing wisdom

laughing

loving

A tiny snippet of her life--at 92 she continues to share her wisdom and laugh, she is a motivational speaker, seminar/workshop leader, and an author. I love her like crazy and I hope to grow up to be just like her.
be sure to stop by and visit other Beauty of a Woman blog posts!
Click the link below:
Beauty of a Woman

SANCTUARY! WHY WE NEED IT AND HOW TO KEEP IT.

I was crabby.Crabby, crabby, crabby. Like not talking crabby and snapping at people (family people) when I did talk. And totally in my head. Yuck.

Why was I crabby? Work. 'Nuff said. Luckily, my husband called me on it. He said, "This isn't work, this is our home and it's supposed to be a sanctuary. This is where we go to leave all the crap behind. This is where people love you." Okay, first he said, "What the hell?" Then he said the cool stuff.

Aaaah, I brought all the crap from work and pretty much placed it on the kitchen table and said, "Here, eat this." Not good.

Now, I'm a pretty happy gal, but when things bother me, they REALLY bother me, yet it so wasn't fair to my family to be bitchy with them when they weren't the fracking problem, plus being crabby and bitchy and unhappy SUCKS. The question was though, how was I going to leave my work drama at work?

So, I've been experimenting with some decompression stuff. Such as:

• Listening to a book on CD during my commute home
• Essential oils*
• Be intentional--before walking through front door: this is my sanctuary, and I will not shit where I eat.
• Think about the day and then set it aside.
• Florence and the Machine, because, Shake It Out.

When I leave work at work and give myself over to being my best me for my family and friends, it's not just better for them it's better for me too. It feels good to not be mired in my head with crap. It feels good to smile and listen and laugh.

*Essential oils are my first choice for most things: colds, bug bites, can't fall asleep, need to wake up, have to speak in front of 50 people...anything. So, it's funny that I didn't think of using them in my car a long time ago. I'm making caromas (did you see what I did there?) hangy doo-dad thingies (I'm working on a name) Here are some pictures:

It's definitely a prototype! but I like that I can pull the corks off the magnates to add more essential oils. Right now we are enjoying the scents of Peppermint and Lemon Young Living Essential Oils. Plus, just looking at it reminds me to leave the crap behind.
How about you, what's you're decompression trick(s)?

How I Did On My 12 Things To Do Before I turn 56

Let's review, shall we?

I was totally and completely inspired by Heather's Blog, Write. Sew. Drink. Repeat 32 Things to do While I'm 32! I loved the large and not so large things she accomplished. And now she has a new list, 'cause, she's 33...

So, I only have 12 (roughly) weeks left before my next birthday, which will not *ahem* be my 33rd. I'm going to have a crap ton of things to do! How exciting!

But since I hate waiting, I'm going to do: 12 things to do BEFORE I turn 56 (and then I'll do my massive 56 things to do while I'm 56).

1. Hang out with my kids (all of them at the same time) twice. Seems measly, but it's not easy getting us all together at the same time! Once before and once after

2. Hang out with my mom (at least) 3 times. Yup! And then some.

3. Seesters! One lunch date downtown and one long distance phone call. No lunch date, but had a couple of happy hours and fun times. and did have one, maybe two long distance calls.

4. Meditate (at least) once a week for the next 12 weeks. Did pretty crappy on thios one. Meditated three times. But have started something that I'm super excited about...will tell you about it next time. Almost as good as meditating. Almost.

5. Date night! We can do this. We went out to eat a few times, but not full blown dates. Need to do better at this!

6. Hang out with Friends (at least) 3 times. Hung out with few friends--more than 3 times. Yay!

7. Blog 12 times to Those Kennedy Women. Errr, whoops. Terrible, terrible awful on this one!

8. Blog 6 times to Unlocking the Secrets of Successful Women. Three times. :/

9. Outline rest of What The Hex! Wrote more, and brainstormed and notecarded...but not really outlined.

10. Fast draft What the. Hex! With online group. Nope. A miserable fail

11. Attend (at least) 4 high school football games--Go Eagles! Yes!

12. Draft outline/structure of double secret awesome inspirational small group workshop with my mom! Ooooh, double secret...Yes! Can't wait to introduce this in 2015!

Okay. There's my list. I'm glad I updated it for you (but mainly for myself) it's good to see how I could have done better and what I did do. How about you? Did you do a list? Early next week, I'll do my list for 56!

What's in My Closet?

Recently, I wrote a post about How to Dress Your Best Self, I said, you dilute your wardrobe with too much detritus--in other words too many clothes ruin everything! I'm in the middle of slowly adding cooler weather clothing to my closet without packing away everything warm weather. Because, living in a state where it's 57 one week and 80 all the next week can make the switch a bit tricky!

I was confronted with a crap ton of clothes, detritus up the wazoo. See, that's why you can look in a closet crammed with clothes and think you have nothing to wear--it's just too damned hard to see anything.
I knew I had to do something about it, because it was getting harder and harder to pick out something to wear.

Do you ever look a project in the eye and sigh, because of the enormity of it? Yeah, me too. But, I had heard of a good trick to help with the clearing: pretend you are in a store and with each article of clothing ask yourself, "Would I buy this today?" But there were too many ways for me to justify saying, yes, yes I would buy that. I might need it...someday.

I had to extremify the process. EXTREMIFY, look it up.

I looked in my closet and asked myself, self, what do you love, like, love-love to wear? I mean, it makes you feel glorious and you. Really you.

I started with jackets--I love me some jackets! They are the magic ingredient to any wardrobe, a jacket can turn a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt into a Ralph Lauren weekend in the country.

Four jackets were out of my closet and on the bed, the first happens to actually be a Ralph Lauren, it's my absolute favorite, and not because it's a RL, but because of the way I feel in it...like a Ralph Lauren weekend! (Joan bought this for me for my birthday, maybe 8 years ago and still so fabulous.)

A long sleek black jacket was my second. I don't know how Bebe manages it, but this jacket is sexy and that's how I feel in it. (got this jacket at a thrift store.)

Then a pink jean jacket, of course. This turns any outfit into something funky and fun. Which is how I feel when I'm wearing it. Plus, pink makes me happy. (this was given to me, used.)

And my fitted denim jacket. Again love to pair this with something unexpected--that way I don't take myself so seriously, okay, even less seriously than I normally do. (another thrift store find.)

I added a few more jackets (yeah, I so do not agree with any fashion list that says you only need two jackets (pffft!), then moved on to my blouses...

Honestly, it starts easier than it ends, and there were some in the give away pile-out of the give away pile goings-on. But my clothes can breathe now and I can see what I've got. I think it will be easier to do again.

Now, it's your turn--you can do this. And be gentle with yourself--you still have to do it--don't beat yourself up if you end up with a measly donation pile. It's a first step.

What's the thing you love the most in your closet?

There Are No Flippin' Rules

Twice yesterday I received the message, "there are no rules." Once from *The Universe (I am not even kidding, we'll talk more on that later!) and once from a newsletter I subscribe to. The first, actually said, "there are no rules." My shoulders relaxed. The second time, it was more of a message gleaned from, "You're never going to get there by trying to get there. There is no path you just need to find..."

My brain did one of those fast action thoughts, all jumbly and toppling over each other: wait, so all those marketing techniques, and sales funnels, and Pinterest analytics I've been searching for and stressing about, all these outside "rules" don't mean anything?

It's up to me to create the way I want to do this.

It is up to me.

Pretty heady stuff--there's definitely responsibility attached to "it's up to me." I'm responsible for my own shit. Right?  There are no rules does not mean there is no working your ass off. It means you decide how the work is done and what kind of work you do and most importantly why you're doing the work.

And, when I say "work" I don't necessarily mean your job, unless that's what you want it to mean, because this can work for work, but it can work for your life too. (Wow. That is almost confusing.)

So, there is a load of personal responsibility with "there are no rules" but there is sweet sweet freedom too.

I stopped writing for a while--nearly everything--the manuscript I was working on, my blog posts, Facebook updates, even tweets were too much for me to muster, because I thought I was doing them wrong. My tweets weren't as clever as this person's, my blog was nothing like that much more successful person's, my book will never touch another person the way this author's books do...

And so I just stopped. When I tried to be like these other people (follow their rules) it didn't work, it came out flat, I felt like a fraud (duh). So I stopped trying and stopped writing. How sad.

DIGRESSION ALERT:

When I first became a supervisor a few years ago, I struggled. Not that I couldn't do the work, I could. I struggled with what kind of a supervisor to be--I read books (not the right ones!) I took webinars (blech!) I went to classes (okay) and yet every single day I walked into work nearly sad, shoulders slumped, and with no idea who I was.

And it wasn't until I was having a random conversation with one of my nephews (thank you Nick!) where I said: "I don't like being a supervisor, I don't know how I'm supposed to be one."

and he said: "Amy, they hired you for who you are. Be you."

Shoulders relaxed.

"oh."

This opened up my world. I fell back into me. I stopped TRYING to be a boss, and instead became me again--really good at all things circulation, kind of goofy, really happy, laughing a lot, expecting great things from the team. I led by example and made my expectations clear, I also admitted my weaknesses. And I was okay again, hell, I was great.

My point is: 

stop trying to live up to who you are not. 

stop trying to to follow a set of made-up rules that maybe worked for some other person, but sure the hell are not working for you.

Be you and make your own rules.

(Unless you are a serial killer, and you are trying not to be one, then, yes, please keep trying.

Also, this isn't a free keep smoking card.)

But the word "try" is so damned full of I-probably-won't-succeed-and-then-I'll-have-to-FRACKIN-try-mofo-try-again, and that just feels deflating and long and icky.

There are no rules

Freedom, not anarchy, but freedom to create from who you are to get you to who your best self is. 

FREE

I'm reading Danielle LaPorte's The Desire Map. AWESOME book, (fantastic website) helps you figure out not the tangible goals for your life but how you want to feel--and then figure out how to feel that. So, one of my core desired feelings is free, I want to feel free.Free to work how I want, at what I want, free to take the day off and hang with my kids or my mom or anyone. Free to not worry.

After I read: there are no rules, I realized freedom (free) is not something I have to reach for, I already have it. I just needed to recognize where in my life it existed. Sure, I'd like it in more aspects of my life (can you say, fly to Paris?) but that is a huge part of manifesting something--already believing you have it, to find examples in your life now and then to focus on it and love it and really feel it--which will bring more of it to you. Holy Sh*t. 

*Now, as promised, here's my Note from the Universe:

Got Strategy? How 'Bout Soul?

I've been thinking a lot lately about life and work and family and friends and soul. Not James Brown soul, more like keeping everything together with soul. Like, not losing your being, your self, your "...to thine own self be true." soul. You feel me?

Lets back up a few weeks...It was a day off--off of the work that pays the bills, I did have my personal emails to catch-up on and I listened to a webinar and discovered a super cool writing coach teacher liberator--Alexandra Franzen and saw what she did and thought:

Why don't I have a system?

I mean, why don't I have a plan, or a time frame or...anything?

Especially since I want to be a creative entrepreneur -- uh, du-uh -- you kinda have to plan these things and actually work toward them. And not just sporadically, as the spirit/muse/whatever calls, there's no, tra-la-la whatever will be will be, bullshit. Uh-huh. 

So. I was going to make a plan--a P.L.A.N. plan. We're talkin' serious plan.

Then Nathan wanted to go to Kennedy (his high school) and get his football helmet and when we got back Rick was home and I remembered I wanted to return something to Bed, Bath & Beyond and then I needed to register Nathan for football (you can start non-coach practice w/o signing up) online and then weed the garden and dinner. And then take Nathan to to a friend's baseball game.

And then something must have broken inside of me (possibly my soul?).

Because, super simple directions to the field and I went in the opposite direction. And then turned around and found the right street and turned the wrong way--or thought I did--so I turned around and, of course, now I really was going the wrong way...so, I turned around (again *sigh*) but then was in the WRONG freakin' turn lane and had to f#*%ing turn around again.

By this time I had a headache, felt disconnected and light headed. My son was pretty awesome, he kept telling me it would be okay and gave me some water. We finally were headed in the right direction and--

I missed the turn.

 So...I turned into an apartment complex to get back on the right track but you couldn't turn the way I needed to. So. I had to go past where the turn was and TURN AROUND. I am not even kidding.

By the time we got to the ball field I was exhausted. And even though there was a possibility a friend was there -- I had to go home. HAD TO.

On the way home my husband called, BECAUSE IT HAD TAKEN SO LONG, he thought I had stayed. I told him what happened, and that I just wanted to get home. He was sitting outside waiting for me when I turned in the driveway--I guess I scared him! I ended-up lying down, nearly crying, and finally sleeping for about a half an hour. I woke up and made rhubarb crisp (I DON'T KNOW WHY). 

What's all this rambling leading to, you ask? I will tell you: I am figuring out a system. And not just a system, a strategy--THINGS, as they say, are in the works. I want a Strategy, but one with Soul. I want a plan, but one with heart. I want to feel good. I want to do good.

I know I do better when I've spent time on things that raise me up: like creativity, spending time with awesome women, writing, spending time with family (not just driving them places), planning cool new endeavors with my mama...

More on that one soon! (ooooh, double secret)

Have you endured any craziness lately? What happened? What realization did you come to? I seriously want to know. 

12 Things To Do Before I Turn 56

I was totally and completely inspired by Heather's Blog, Write. Sew. Drink. Repeat 32 Things to do While I'm 32! I loved the large and not so large things she accomplished. And now she has a new list, 'cause, she's 33...

So, I only have 12 (roughly) weeks left before my next birthday, which will not *ahem* be my 33rd. I'm going to have a crap ton of things to do! How exciting!

But since I hate waiting, I'm going to do: 12 things to do BEFORE I turn 56 (and then I'll do my massive 56 things to do while I'm 56).

1. Hang out with my kids (all of them at the same time) twice. Seems measly, but it's not easy getting us all together at the same time!

2. Hang out with my mom (at least) 3 times

3. Seesters! One lunch date downtown and one long distance phone call

4. Meditate (at least) once a week for the next 12 weeks

5. Date night! We can do this.

6. Hang out with Friends (at least) 3 times

7. Blog 12 times to Those Kennedy Women

8. Blog 6 times to Unlocking the Secrets of Successful Women

9. Outline rest of What The Hex!

10. Fast draft What the. Hex! With online group

11. Attend (at least) 4 high school football games--Go Eagles!

12. Draft outline/structure of double secret awesome inspirational small group workshop with my mom! Ooooh, double secret...

Okay. There's my list. How about you, it's a throw down, a lift you up kind of throw down. Tell us what you want to do, or wish you could do, or what you think of my list. 

3 Ways to Dress Your Best (most fun and favoritest) Self

By: Amy Kennedy

Have you ever looked at old pictures and wondered what the hell you were thinking wearing those pastel striped pants? Or, is that only me?

Yes I have a picture of myself in pastel striped pants, no, I will not post it here! I dubbed them my "clown pants" because, well, they made me look like I escaped from a circus.

Was that really the way I wanted to look, or was it easy and maybe comfy and no thought had to be involved? Yeah, I'm thinking all three of those.

Now, think about a picture or a time when you were wearing something that made you feel fabulous--something that garnered compliments from others, something that made you feel like your favorite self, your true self.

Don't you wish you could have that feeling more often? Of having your inside self be your outside self, or maybe having your outside self help your inside self get where she wants to be?

Look, I know looks aren't everything, neither are clothes or shoes or jewelry. But they sure the heck can make me feel good!

I have recently come to the conclusion that the reason I adore Halloween is it allows me to dress like parts of my inner self.

• Sometimes I'm all connected with the power of magic and I like to dress as the personification of that by donning a pointy hat and wearing black and holstering a magic wand. 
• Sometimes my magic comes through in a different way, with bright colors and scarves and lots of jewelry.
• And other times I like to be the adventurer, the seeker of knowledge, so I dress in vests and goggles, with plenty of gadgets at my waist...you get the idea.

All these "costumes" are really my fun inside me shining through to my outside.

In extreme.

But, once I figured out why I liked to dress up for Halloween I figured out how I could always have fun while dressing as the "me" I was on any given day. And in case you missed it, the operative word is FUN.

FIRST: 

LOVE your clothes. I am not even kidding, why wear meh when you could wear YES!? This is a tough one--people gift us with things we feel obligated to wear, right? All the time! And if it's our child, we feel even more obligated, ouch. 

So here are some scripts I am gifting to you: 

Thank you! (yup, that's it. If you rarely see them, just say thank you and then return it, if you do see them all the time, explain you had to exchange it, as it was too small, there was a small hole, it didn't look right on you, and leave it at that)

Okay, I only had one script for you--Thank you. It's really the best though, unless your husband gives you a brown fleece zip up jacket, then you say, "Really? Fleece? I will never ever wear fleece." But that's not the greatest script.

SECOND:

Do not own too many clothes. Once again, I am not even kidding. You dilute your wardrobe with too much detritus. I always need to relearn this one, I love going through my clothes at the change of seasons--I actually see what I have, I decide if I still L.O.V.E. each thing and if anything needs attention. 

Have you ever shopped in a store where you could barely move the clothes on the rack to see the next item? Well that's what happens in your closet--too many clothes EQUALS "I have nothing to wear."

THIRD:

Have fun. F U N. Add things that make you smile. That give you joy. I have an off white scarf with pink skulls on it. 

I adore that scarf--and I love to wear it with pearls, that's part of my fun with clothes, a sense of irony. I add two or three pins to my jacket du jour--a cameo and a name crest and an old school girl scout pin (they don't have to match, but there could be one thing about them that ties them together). 

I usually try to keep FUN to accessories, but sometimes it crosses over to actual clothing--the only thing to be careful of with FUN articles of clothing is they might not actually GO with anything. I have an awesome gauzy shirt. 

But I can wear this with jeans, black dress pants, I also wear different shells under it, black, orange, green--that changes the look of it.

That's it. For now. Next time I touch on style I'll dive more into the "themed" dressing, aka a Halloween closet.

What's your biggest wardrobe style challenge?

Successful Women

One day, out of the blue, my grandson Andy asked me, “You’re smart, you wrote a book, you've been speaking a long time. How come you’re not rich and successful?”

I didn't have an answer for him.

But I kept thinking about it. 

Later, I thought, why would he ask me that question?  And

 then I thought, why not?

 It was a good question.

And after much soul searching, I finally came up with the reasons why:

·        I never asked anyone in my profession for help.

·        I was too embarrassed to ask anyone for advice.

·        I never made a habit of sending “thank you notes” to clients.

·        I never made a habit of networking.

·        I never asked for referrals.

·        I never turned my old business into new business.

·        I never thought of my speaking career as a business.

·        I didn’t like to make cold calls.

I realized that when I thought I was working, I was just being busy.  I wrote and rewrote my talks, and I spent a great deal of time writing books and booklets.

I determined that writing books and booklets was a good strategy for my speaking career.  But I was not getting in touch with clients to get the bookings I needed in order to sell my books and booklets.

I don’t want anyone else to feel they have to go it alone. Which is why I wanted to gather the women’s stories in my new book to help other women - it's much easier to envision your own success if you can see the path to someone else's.

Unlocking the Secrets of Successful Women

                                                              Joan Kennedy

Don't Settle For the Same Old, Same Old

By: Joan Kennedy

We are all creatures of habit.  

It’s just so much easier to wake up every morning at the same time and look forward to a day of routine and schedules, than to get up earlier and do something different.  What would that be like to do something different? 

I woke up one morning this week and thought nothing very exciting is going to happen today. I knew that.  First of all, I don’t drive anymore.  So I usually just wait for someone to call and say, “Do you want to go shopping tomorrow?” or, “How about lunch on Thursday?” And, second of all, it’s what I had gotten used to. 

Of course, I’m always ready to go, but I’m also always waiting for someone to call.

It occurred to me if I want something to happen in my life I have to make it happen.  It’s taken me a long time to figure that one out. 

Why wait for other people? Someone once said, “In doubtful matters boldness is everything.” So, I decided to be bold. 

Okay, but how? Instead of waiting for someone to invite me to lunch, I would invite someone to lunch. The person I ended up inviting was thrilled that I had asked her. Who knew? Here I was waiting for something to happen and all I had to do was ask.

Then I had another bright thought:  

I will have control of my life, when I decide what I want. 

So, what do I want?  I enjoy people; why not surround myself with interesting people?  

Here’s where my inner naysayers popped-up and said, but your apartment is small.

So then I said big deal. You don’t need to invite twenty people. Invite four. Plan a dinner. Have something easy. How about Pot Roast? Everybody likes Pot Roast, don’t they? Everything will be in one pot. I’ll serve crusty bread, and a bottle of wine to top it off. That sounds good to me. Naysayers shut down!

Now it's time to make other things happen in my life.  

How about you? What could you do differently to make things happen in your life?

Don't Let Busy and Stress Take Over Your Life

We've been pretty busy.

Patty's hosted a bajillion parties at her home and welcomed a new grandbaby!
I've re-opened a library that has been closed for a mini renovation.
And Joan is in the midst of compiling stories for her latest work:
Unlocking the Secrets of Successful Women

These are the kind of busy that can be so stressful it pushes out all other things, you know that kind of busystress, right? The kind where all the fun stuff gets shoved under the bed of your life and you forget to do things that bring you joy, or you think you don't have enough time for the things that bring you joy.

Sometimes the busy is so stressful that along with choosing not to do the fun things we forget to do some of the important things. Yikes.

I won't bore you with my actual busy--suffice to say, I had so much crap shoved under the bed of my life I forgot to set up an appointment for my son. A pretty important one. How did I simply forget? And how can I change that from happening again?

Busy can be insidious and Stress is always wicked. The combination of the two seems to throw our brains into a state of malfunction. Now, I'm not talking fight or flight stress, more of a low-grade constant stress. (Although, in the middle of all this low grade stress, my husband and I watched our son get hit on the football field, resulting in a mild concussion--that was an injection of some high stress to go along with the low grade stress!) so, busy + low-grade constant stress= brain miss function.

All I wanted to do during this time was come home from work, get in my PJs, sit on the couch, and look at Pinterest. That's it. I actually did more than that, but only begrudgingly. Even now, I had to really really talk my brain into writing a post.

I think we all know (logically) how not to let busy and stress win, but when we're in the throws of it, the knowledge evacuates our brains! Dang.

I saw a picture of a tattoo on the inside of a woman's wrist: focus. Perhaps if we all had tattoos that reminded us of things we need to do (or Polaroids like in the movie Memento), we'd be less stressed.

Focus
Breathe
Smile
Call the doctor to set up an appointment for your son -- maybe not a tattoo of that last one.

I think this is why inspirational quotes call to us, it reminds us of how we should be.
Maybe that's why all I wanted to do was look at Pinterest--there are some awesome inspirational quotes on there! Maybe a tiny part of my brain was trying to pinch me into remembering who I was supposed to be.

A woman who smiles. And does stuff. Other than sitting on the couch.

So, for now, I keep an image of that tattoo (right up there) in my brain. I may whip out a Sharpie and mark my wrist. It's a reminder to not let the busy or the stress win.

How do you defeat busy and stress?

20,000 Days +

by: Amy Kennedy
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I dabble a bit online. This post leads me to this person, that tweet leads me to that content and before you know it, I'm calculating when I will have lived my 20,000th day.

I know!

How the heck did I get there? But more importantly, what am I going to do with this information?

So, first of all, I know you all want to figure out how many days you've been alive, right? So here's the link to The Robert D for calculation, come right back after you figure out how many days you've been alive!

He wrote a pretty cool book on the subject too:

Basically, he realized his life was not where he wanted it to be-- and on his 20,000th day he packed a bag, drove to a hotel, and figured out the rest of his life.

I'd like to do that--basically, I'd just like to go to a hotel (and swim and sauna--that last one's not a verb, I know, but I'd still like to do it). But if I can't go to a hotel to spend a couple days figuring out the map of the rest of my life, nothing is stopping me from doing it in 20 minute snapshots here and there. Right?

Remember Joan's post Don't Settle For What Might Have Been, and use a few of those 20 minutes for life planning.

Well, it just so happens my 20,000th day was...today! (I'm writing this Wednesday, August 28th) Yes! I know. And where was I? Not at a hotel. Nope, at work, and not even my work, work, at the administrative building interviewing job applicants.

It's not how I thought I'd be spending an auspicious day. But we don't always have a choice...do we (?).

I'm going to take 20 minutes, right now at 8:08 and think about this and come back and tell you what I've come up with, okay...now!

I'm back at 8:28. here's what I've got:

(I adore my "Notes" app on my iPad)

I think I made some good progress on what I want to do--with some measurable things thrown in too! I'll continue to work on it, still need to add some days for the second book and add more detail to my other changes and goals. But, all in all, I'm happy with what happened in those 20 minutes.

I liked adding the days onto my 20,000. Don't know why, I just did.

Joan Kennedy is 33,267 days today!

Patty Kennedy Bronstien is 22,078 days today!

We'd love you all to find out your number and then challenge yourself to decide what the next 1,000 days will be like for you.

Talking to Strangers

By: Amy Kennedy

So, it's hot out. I mean melt the candles, burn the soles of your feet, let's go to the State Fair hot.

We decided to go to the mall instead, you know the one--the big one, the Mall of America. Dang right, 'Merica's Mall!

I loathe it. Okay, I don't loathe it, what I mean to say is, I hate it. Wait, what I really mean to say is, it's like going to the State Fair but without all the cool smells and sites. Just the crowd. And they're not even as interesting...for instance, no one is stumbling drunk and or wearing overalls. Not one person. And there are no cows or pigs, and certainly no Miracle of Birth barn...I digress.

But something happened today, which made me very happy we went to the mall. I talked to a stranger. And not any stranger, a young woman/girl stranger. Okay, a teen stranger.

Let me explain:
After doing what we came to do, spending large quantities of dollars (for prescription spectacles) we went to lunch, and let the 14 year old choose where to go. Buffalo Wild Wings was his selection. We sat at a high top, and after a little bit, a few tables over a large group of teens came in...maybe 12 of them.

One girl did not look like the rest--all the rest were kind of sporty/jockish/every kid. Nothing against that AT ALL--I own one of those (except he's exceptional)--anyway, she sort of got frozen out. All the girls were filing in on one side and all the guys were on the other. As she went to sit down, a boy broke rank and sat next to a very pretty girl on the girl's side, the other girl (the one different from all the rest) looked a bit lost, just for a moment, then she took a seat at the end of that row.

Now, here's the important part--she was so different from the rest of the kids.
Her hair was blue green, cut in a cool way in the front, kind of choppy layers, and she tucked the rest of it in a black beret (!) she wore a black and grey striped long sleeved shirt--I wish I had a picture! I had to keep looking at her...because she was the most interesting person in the joint.

Besides me, that is. Just Kidding, she was way more interesting.

Another girl had finally sat across from her and they were chatting...but she still seemed outside "the group" and I wanted her to know how cool she looked to me.

Now, listen, I understand that when a woman (of a certain age) tells a girl she looks cool, or she likes her shirt etc. that's like the kiss of horribleness and the offending item/style will probably never be worn again. So as we were getting ready to leave, I said to my husband and youngest, "Hey, wait, I have to tell this girl over there something."

My 14 y..o said, "No. Mom, you don't want to do that."
And, I thought, oh, he's probably right, she might get all embarrassed. But then I thought, young women are different from young men--girls should hear encouraging words from their *cough* *choke* *gasp* elders.

I stood in the aisle, hesitating, then I thought what the hell, and made my move. I walked over to her long table, walked to her open side and said:
"Maybe you'll hate hearing this from me, but you have more style than anyone in here."
She smiled and said, "Really?" and I said, "Absolutely." and she said, "Thank you!"

And I walked away. I could feel eyes on the back of me--the rest of the table asking her questions: who was that? What did she say? I smiled.

I am so happy I decided to talk to a stranger. Maybe she'll forget about it tomorrow, maybe she thought I was some crazy older woman, but maybe, maybe it made a tiny difference in her day.

I hope so.

So I'm challenging everyone to say something nice to someone you don't know (it has to be sincere) things you think, but don't say--try it, say it--talk nice(ly) to a stranger!

U of Spark

I started a "new" blog, I re-designed it (from my personal blog Cupcake) and added wallpaper and painted it all pretty, I re-named it U of Spark--as in University of (all things) Sparking (and creative)...


And I said to myself, "This will be about creativity and authenticity and, and stuff. Lots and lots of cool stuff."

Aaaand then I remembered that's pretty much what this blog Those Kennedy Women was/is supposed to be: 

Doing things better, funner, brighter. More creatively.

And then I said to myself, "Hey, do I reallyreallyReally want to manage two blogs?"

I was a sometime blogger (at best) for quite some time with both blogs. Now, I'm kinda proud of some content over at my old blog Cupcake, re-named U of Spark, so, I'll probably re-post some of things here...but I won't be adding new content over there.

Of course, I've met me and know how I roll--so "never" is a word I try not to use. But, in the foreseeable future I won't post anything new at my old blog--except to say, I'll be posting here! Got that?

So, shine-up your awesome selves and join us as we aim to live:

 a creative life

a positive life

an exuberant life

a laughier life

a stylish life

a full life

a diy-er life

a doing life

Here's the link at  U of Spark  to what I wished I blogged about more! Which got me all excited about this blog again...so, it's all good! Because, we'll be posting that stuff and this stuff and basically all the good stuff!

Do you ever re-do stuff--or do twice what you need to?

How to be 91...And a Gypsy

So our mom, Joan Kennedy had another birthday--her 91st, she always has the best birthdays. I am not kidding. They are either in exciting places or with lots of people--sometimes both. And she always celebrates at least three times--it's more of a birth month than a birthday.

Anyway, we were celebrating at a lovely restaurant, Tria -- they give you a free bottle of wine equivalent to your age during your birthday week...yeah, we had the good stuff. Not only that, but Victoria (Patty's daughter-in-law) had just had a birthday too. We had two bottles of fine wine.

But that's not the story.

After one of the bottles had been drunk, mom said, "I'd like to make an announcement," she paused, making sure everyone was listening, because we have a tendency to suffer a collective ADD, then she continued. "I have decided I'm going to be a gypsy!"

Now, writing this statement, it all seems pretty gasp-worthy, but no one gasped. Which is good, because she had more to say.

"I will move most of my things to Patty's and then I will stay with each of you for a week. And I will pay you one hundred dollars for food."

Well, we were laughing at this point, not because we thought she was joking or we didn't believe her, but because it was fun! Who wouldn't want to be a gypsy? (I mean the romanticized version, not our ancestors and relatives who were/are discriminated against) And who better to be one than our mom, grandma, friend Joan Kennedy?

Gypsy Woman

A few days went by and Patty and I took mom to her doctor's appointment, afterward we went out to eat--cause that's what gypsies do, at least, it's what we've always done. We really like being with each other and try to make these times last. So we're at another great restaurant: Burger Jones when mom makes another announcement:

"I've decided to just be a Part-time Gypsy. I'll keep my apartment and see how I like being a gypsy, then, we'll see."

I think Patty and I both breathed a small sigh of relief. Not that we wouldn't want her to be anything she wants to be, but that she'll have her comfort zone, her just in-case she needs to regroup place. Which is a really long and roundabout way of saying how important it is to have a comfort zone--whether it's your kitchen table, your backyard patio, your man-cave out in the garage--it's nice to find refuge in a safe spot.

Now, maybe mom will find she loves being a part-time gypsy and want to go full throttle--maybe her comfort zone will shift to another location--but for now, we know she's got her own place, just in case this whole gypsy thing blows.

And to help her in her gypsy ways I'm creating something for her journeys...no photos yet, as I'm still creating in my brain and not in the actual world.

Have you ever wanted to be a part-time gypsy?

Decisions, Decisions.

By Joan Kennedy (with Amy Kennedy)

Hey, guess what? In every major decision you are in conflict with yourself. That's right.
To act or not to act, fights it out all the time--maybe you don't even realize it, indecision can become habitual and stop you from making all kinds of decisions:
Maybe it won't work
Maybe I'll fail
Maybe I'll never get what I want

Maybe is the key word. Maybe you won't...but maybe you will. And guess what else...you'll never know until you try.

There may be a decision before you now that calls for action and but you hem and haw between one way or another. Or maybe you know instinctively what the right decision is, yet you let others influence you. There are people who insist on looking for problems and negative outcomes. In either of these scenarios you are either dealing with an inside or an outside Naysayer. Banish those Naysayers.

The next time you have to make a decision, don't worry about what someone else thinks or what someone else would do. Make the decision quickly, according to how you feel and how it looks to you. If you do, your self-confidence will increase with each decision you make.

Here are 4 things you can do to defeat hesitation and naysayers:

• Trust your instincts. Don't doubt your decision.
• Once your decision is made pop any of those doubt bubbles about the decision,  replace them with positive bubbles (thoughts and statements)
• Meet problems and obstacles as (and if) they arise, not in your head beforehand
• Act promptly on your decision. You've made your decision, now go and  do.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Do the thing and you will have the power."

Pretty cool words, and hey, if they were good enough for Emerson...

Don't Settle For What Might Have Been

by: Joan Kennedy (with Amy Kennedy)

Have you ever told yourself that someday, when the time is right you're going to do what you've always wanted to do?

Um, you mean like every day?!

For some of us that day never comes: I don't have time right now. I will when I have more money. When I lose weight. When the kids are in school. When the kids are out of school.

It doesn't matter what kind of excuse we use, they all keep us from doing the things we say we want to do. When we have no specific plans for getting anywhere we always have a ton of reasons to explain why we don't, why we can't, and why we haven't.

Uncertainty breeds stagnation. So does overwhelm.

Guess what you need to work toward what you've always wanted, go ahead, guess...give up?

When the big hand gets to the 3...

Twenty minutes. Yup. If you don't make progress toward what you've always wanted in the next twenty minutes, when will you? In the next twenty minutes after that? Sooner or later you have to pick a twenty minute time frame and get started.

Don't be concerned with long range goals in the beginning. Decide first what it is you want, and don't get hung-up on that--just chose. Then set a goal, or goals covering the next twenty minutes--if you decide to go longer than twenty minutes, that's fine, but you may want to stick to twenty for the first week to avoid the dreaded "overwhelm." You can't believe what you can get done in twenty minutes.

Even though seemingly small and modest in impact, they are important--small goals accomplished one after another add up to big achievement. Like, "big dream" achievement.

I'm part of a writing group and one of the things we were taught was to set a timer for fifteen minutes and just start writing (no, we can't write the same sentence over and over again a la Jack Nicholson in The Shining... all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...) the crazy thing is I can write anywhere from 300-450 words in fifteen minutes--one page of a manuscript is 250 words, so I can write a page and a half in fifteen minutes!

Re-think what can be achieved in twenty minutes!

We know you can find twenty minutes somewhere in your day to start working toward what you've always wanted. Tell us what you plan on doing in the next twenty minutes, we can't wait to hear.

90 YEARS WISE (my daughter came-up with the title)

When I was 89, no one asked me if I had any words of wisdom.  Now that I’m 90, people just assume I have something wise to tell them.  I knew some of these things years ago, but no one asked me.  So now I will share with you some of the things I learned (mostly the hard way). 

•  Don’t look to your children to make you happy.  It’s not their responsibility. Just enjoy and love them.  They are the greatest gift you will ever receive. 

• No one is in charge of your happiness but you.    

• Don’t look back over your past and wish you had made better choices.        Forgive yourself for the stupid decisions you made.  Make smarter ones for your future. 

• Life is too short to waste it worrying about wrinkles, gray hair and age spots.

• Don’t put off telling your family and friends that you love them, and tell  them often.

• Don’t put off using your good things.  You don’t have to wear things out before you use your new towels, sheets and lingerie. 

• Forgive yourself for everything, and forgive everyone else for everything.When something bad happens, deal with it, and move on.

• Don’t take life too seriously, it isn’t permanent.  (I read that somewhere).

• Keep your old friends and make new younger friends.  Friends keep you young.

• Don’t let other people determine what is best for you.

• Be an “I feel great person.”  When someone says, “Hi, how are you?” don’t tell them about your aches and pains.  No one cares if your back aches or your knees hurt, or you didn’t get enough sleep last night.  “Hi, how are you” is a salutation, not an opening for a health report.  When asked, just say fine, wonderful or great!  They will remember you for that.