How to be 91...And a Gypsy

So our mom, Joan Kennedy had another birthday--her 91st, she always has the best birthdays. I am not kidding. They are either in exciting places or with lots of people--sometimes both. And she always celebrates at least three times--it's more of a birth month than a birthday.

Anyway, we were celebrating at a lovely restaurant, Tria -- they give you a free bottle of wine equivalent to your age during your birthday week...yeah, we had the good stuff. Not only that, but Victoria (Patty's daughter-in-law) had just had a birthday too. We had two bottles of fine wine.

But that's not the story.

After one of the bottles had been drunk, mom said, "I'd like to make an announcement," she paused, making sure everyone was listening, because we have a tendency to suffer a collective ADD, then she continued. "I have decided I'm going to be a gypsy!"

Now, writing this statement, it all seems pretty gasp-worthy, but no one gasped. Which is good, because she had more to say.

"I will move most of my things to Patty's and then I will stay with each of you for a week. And I will pay you one hundred dollars for food."

Well, we were laughing at this point, not because we thought she was joking or we didn't believe her, but because it was fun! Who wouldn't want to be a gypsy? (I mean the romanticized version, not our ancestors and relatives who were/are discriminated against) And who better to be one than our mom, grandma, friend Joan Kennedy?

Gypsy Woman

A few days went by and Patty and I took mom to her doctor's appointment, afterward we went out to eat--cause that's what gypsies do, at least, it's what we've always done. We really like being with each other and try to make these times last. So we're at another great restaurant: Burger Jones when mom makes another announcement:

"I've decided to just be a Part-time Gypsy. I'll keep my apartment and see how I like being a gypsy, then, we'll see."

I think Patty and I both breathed a small sigh of relief. Not that we wouldn't want her to be anything she wants to be, but that she'll have her comfort zone, her just in-case she needs to regroup place. Which is a really long and roundabout way of saying how important it is to have a comfort zone--whether it's your kitchen table, your backyard patio, your man-cave out in the garage--it's nice to find refuge in a safe spot.

Now, maybe mom will find she loves being a part-time gypsy and want to go full throttle--maybe her comfort zone will shift to another location--but for now, we know she's got her own place, just in case this whole gypsy thing blows.

And to help her in her gypsy ways I'm creating something for her journeys...no photos yet, as I'm still creating in my brain and not in the actual world.

Have you ever wanted to be a part-time gypsy?

Decisions, Decisions.

By Joan Kennedy (with Amy Kennedy)

Hey, guess what? In every major decision you are in conflict with yourself. That's right.
To act or not to act, fights it out all the time--maybe you don't even realize it, indecision can become habitual and stop you from making all kinds of decisions:
Maybe it won't work
Maybe I'll fail
Maybe I'll never get what I want

Maybe is the key word. Maybe you won't...but maybe you will. And guess what else...you'll never know until you try.

There may be a decision before you now that calls for action and but you hem and haw between one way or another. Or maybe you know instinctively what the right decision is, yet you let others influence you. There are people who insist on looking for problems and negative outcomes. In either of these scenarios you are either dealing with an inside or an outside Naysayer. Banish those Naysayers.

The next time you have to make a decision, don't worry about what someone else thinks or what someone else would do. Make the decision quickly, according to how you feel and how it looks to you. If you do, your self-confidence will increase with each decision you make.

Here are 4 things you can do to defeat hesitation and naysayers:

• Trust your instincts. Don't doubt your decision.
• Once your decision is made pop any of those doubt bubbles about the decision,  replace them with positive bubbles (thoughts and statements)
• Meet problems and obstacles as (and if) they arise, not in your head beforehand
• Act promptly on your decision. You've made your decision, now go and  do.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Do the thing and you will have the power."

Pretty cool words, and hey, if they were good enough for Emerson...

Don't Settle For What Might Have Been

by: Joan Kennedy (with Amy Kennedy)

Have you ever told yourself that someday, when the time is right you're going to do what you've always wanted to do?

Um, you mean like every day?!

For some of us that day never comes: I don't have time right now. I will when I have more money. When I lose weight. When the kids are in school. When the kids are out of school.

It doesn't matter what kind of excuse we use, they all keep us from doing the things we say we want to do. When we have no specific plans for getting anywhere we always have a ton of reasons to explain why we don't, why we can't, and why we haven't.

Uncertainty breeds stagnation. So does overwhelm.

Guess what you need to work toward what you've always wanted, go ahead, guess...give up?

When the big hand gets to the 3...

Twenty minutes. Yup. If you don't make progress toward what you've always wanted in the next twenty minutes, when will you? In the next twenty minutes after that? Sooner or later you have to pick a twenty minute time frame and get started.

Don't be concerned with long range goals in the beginning. Decide first what it is you want, and don't get hung-up on that--just chose. Then set a goal, or goals covering the next twenty minutes--if you decide to go longer than twenty minutes, that's fine, but you may want to stick to twenty for the first week to avoid the dreaded "overwhelm." You can't believe what you can get done in twenty minutes.

Even though seemingly small and modest in impact, they are important--small goals accomplished one after another add up to big achievement. Like, "big dream" achievement.

I'm part of a writing group and one of the things we were taught was to set a timer for fifteen minutes and just start writing (no, we can't write the same sentence over and over again a la Jack Nicholson in The Shining... all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...) the crazy thing is I can write anywhere from 300-450 words in fifteen minutes--one page of a manuscript is 250 words, so I can write a page and a half in fifteen minutes!

Re-think what can be achieved in twenty minutes!

We know you can find twenty minutes somewhere in your day to start working toward what you've always wanted. Tell us what you plan on doing in the next twenty minutes, we can't wait to hear.

90 YEARS WISE (my daughter came-up with the title)

When I was 89, no one asked me if I had any words of wisdom.  Now that I’m 90, people just assume I have something wise to tell them.  I knew some of these things years ago, but no one asked me.  So now I will share with you some of the things I learned (mostly the hard way). 

•  Don’t look to your children to make you happy.  It’s not their responsibility. Just enjoy and love them.  They are the greatest gift you will ever receive. 

• No one is in charge of your happiness but you.    

• Don’t look back over your past and wish you had made better choices.        Forgive yourself for the stupid decisions you made.  Make smarter ones for your future. 

• Life is too short to waste it worrying about wrinkles, gray hair and age spots.

• Don’t put off telling your family and friends that you love them, and tell  them often.

• Don’t put off using your good things.  You don’t have to wear things out before you use your new towels, sheets and lingerie. 

• Forgive yourself for everything, and forgive everyone else for everything.When something bad happens, deal with it, and move on.

• Don’t take life too seriously, it isn’t permanent.  (I read that somewhere).

• Keep your old friends and make new younger friends.  Friends keep you young.

• Don’t let other people determine what is best for you.

• Be an “I feel great person.”  When someone says, “Hi, how are you?” don’t tell them about your aches and pains.  No one cares if your back aches or your knees hurt, or you didn’t get enough sleep last night.  “Hi, how are you” is a salutation, not an opening for a health report.  When asked, just say fine, wonderful or great!  They will remember you for that.

My Girlfriend's Closet

I thought this would be a cool post to do every once in awhile -- My Girlfriend's Closet. Because, well, other people's closets (and clothes) seem to be more interesting than our own.

Why is that?

Does familiarity with our wardrobe breed contempt?

I think yes, yes it does. So now the question is: What the hell do we do with this information?
Throw out all our clothes? Buy new ones? Yikes! Clearly not -- because, unless you're Katie Holmes and ready to spread your wings and about to come into a bajillion dollars, then, well, you've got to work with what you've got.

First step: What have you got?
If you're anything like me, I think I'm all organized until life gets a little harried and then bam!

Closet Explosion! Not pretty. Especially when I looked at my husband's closet...

Show-off. And this is actually a little messy for him. Anyway, the fact that it was getting harder to pick out an outfit for work and the sight of my husband's closet got me motivated to clean up my act and see what I had.

Here's where it got worse before it got better:

Hats and Belts -- who knew I owned so many? And scarves, you can't believe the amount of scarves. It's all good though. I finally got the rest of the winter things put away, good thing since we're hitting high 90s every day. I bagged items for donation, set items aside for mending -- I'm sure I'll do that soon cough, cough.


And Voila!

Okay, so I know what I've got, how about you?
Next time I'll show you some magical non-matchy-matchy match-ups.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS... and, Hello Stranger

We're baa-ack.

Hello darling dearests, while my mom's and seester's fingers were itching for some action I had contracted the dreaded disease of EXPLODING LIFE! And could not bring myself to write any posts or to post anyone else's writings.

And then I read something -- not something my mother wrote (even though, I would have arrived at the same place, but who listens to their mother's?), it was something in a book: and within this book the author says these words: "I was committed to the end of suffering." She goes on to say, that either you get to the end of suffering or you don't. You choose. It was as if I were hit on the head with that horseshoe on the cover. BAM!

I had a choice to wallow in suffering or to choose to "carry on" so to speak. Which, by the way is not the same thing as denial -- I was not blind to the intricacies of my life, but I made a conscious choise not to let them rule my life. I chose happiness, I chose not to suffer.

And then I found a Positive Support Letter (a newsletter my mom, Joan Kennedy wrote in the early 90s) this one from 1993, here's what I read:

*Every condition, every experience you have in your life is the result of your mental and emotional activity. If you don't have the conditions you want, there is no one to blame. You can't look to others to make your life more than it is. Your life is an individual responsibility, an individual opportunity and an individual experience.

You are the only person who thinks in your mind. You have the power to decide what you want in your life.


You have the capacity to choose love, wealth, success and happiness. 


(Me: We have the choice, I have the choice. Wow! Wish I had actually READ this in 1993)

Your mind will accept and bring to pass in a natural way whatever you assume and believe to be true.


(Hello!)

Ideas will occur to you to show you how to develop and grow. Opportunities for achieving your objectives will be presented to you for your progress.


(This is where it gets exciting. I'm reading the book, I decide not suffer, but to be happy -- suffering kept me from posting to this blog, posting to my writing blog , and writing fiction.

Once I made the commitment to be happy to come to the end of suffering, I started visiting blogs I used to read and found out about a Fast Draft opportunity (detailed in my writing blog post) I joined in! First day was yesterday, I wrote 8 pages. Eight! If you're a writer, you know that's a lot (my goal is 20 a day!). Then I posted in my writing blog (hadn't done that since... a few months ago) then I posted here.

For some reason Those Kennedy Women was my biggest sticking point. Maybe because it is a joint venture, and the fact I had let down my cohorts (my thought, not theirs). It was like having an overdue library book and hating to bring it back because of the fine and the librarian and just not returning it to spare yourself from the humiliation... sorry, my childhood memory. I actually work in a library now and I would NEVER think to shame someone for an overdue item.

But, now the dam is burst! And the flow of words and ideas are back. Keep me honest, or, better yet, I'll keep myself honest.

The next time you think a negative thought about yourself or your life, ask yourself if you want to experience that thought in your life.


You are in control of your thoughts and your words. This moment is where the change begins. 




*all italics are Joan's words.


So, what's your choice?

It’s the STUFF that Dreams are made of…

Stuff is probably the one thing we all have in common.

 The Stuff starts to accumulate when you decide to move out of your

 parent’s home, and into your own apartment. Now that you have your own space,

 the first thing you need to do is to fill it with your own stuff.

You decide what kind of stuff you want.

  Remember your stuff is an expression of your style. You also have to

 decide, right up front, what stuff will be displayed and what stuff will be put in

 kitchen cupboards or in drawers. Usually, anything that is functional is put behind

 doors or in drawers. 

When you start out to collect stuff, you have many styles to choose from.

 You can decorate with Victorian, French Country, Contemporary, Primitive, or

 Colonial, stuff.   

Keep in mind, your stuff reflects who you are.

There may come a time when you get bored with your stuff, and want new stuff.

 You can give your old stuff to family or friends, who like your stuff, or

donate to the Goodwill, or the Salvation Army – they like stuff too.  And while

you’re there, you might as well browse on the off chance you’ll find some stuff

you don’t have.

Finally, the day comes when you start thinking about downsizing your

space, and moving into something smaller.  You now (again) have to decide what

stuff you’ll sell, give away to family, friends or donate.  

The there will always be stuff you just can’t part with. So you put the

 sentimental stuff in boxes and take it with you.

You finally arrive at your new space, and unpack your stuff.  You arrange

It in the space you now have. The stuff you don’t have room for can always be

 Boxed-up and stored in closets or under your bed. That my friends, is just the

 nature of stuff.

Question:  Is there more stuff in your future?